I was asked to explain what my brand is, what exactly my writing represents.
My answer to this is simple, a female.
Being female comes with so much attached to it, inferiority and superiority at the same time, it comes with the ability to be superwoman, to be strong, to stand up tall and tell every person that I have arrived and I own this spot.
It comes with the responsibility to be some ones mother, daughter, sister, wife, girlfriend, lover, partner, and friend.
It comes with the burden of having to show people that you have your shit under control.
It comes with being criticized for almost everything we do, from the way we talk, walk, eat, dress, laugh and express ourselves to the way we carry ourselves, even the way we drive.
We are called so many things and are blamed for a lot of wrong done to us, and we are told we are to blame.
What people forget is, we are human, we are people, we feel too, we hurt too, we cry and we laugh.
We cry when we are hurt, angry, happy.
We speak up when we need to, we fight when we need to, we throw bottles, shoes, cups, pots and pans and chairs and pretty much any and everything we put our hands on if you piss us off enough.
We can love you one minute and hate you the next, we can want to kill you one second and kiss you the next.
We like to feel warm and loved. We like to know you want us but play hard to get anyway.
We are human like that.
We are simple but difficult.
We are women.
I am female.

Answer to the question, my writing represents  me, represents the female,the woman.

That being said...you can find my articles on my blog
misskonfident.blogspot.com

And in Kenya's Standard media's online magazine
Eve woman...
Show your love and read a few...

I contemplated my life so far as i walked down the street, i looked around me and saw 

different kinds of people, couples, children, women, men ,, so many different people,

and I wondered if they all saw me the way I thought I looked, or the way I wanted them 

to see me, or the way they wanted to see me.

I am a woman, I have made decisions in my life that make my character questionable, 

that make my religious beliefs questionable, that leave my sexuality without a gender, 

that often embarrass my family, that left me without a friend and many foes, that made me who I am.

I look back, and I should feel ashamed, i should cloud my mind with thoughts of regret, 

with temptations to hide or run and never look back.

I should hate what I see when I look in the mirror, I should despise the words that 

come out of my mouth, I should close up shop and flee.

But I do not.

See, I love what I see when I look in the mirror, I laugh at what I say, I love it too, 

sometimes i sound silly, sometimes mean, sometimes smart, sometimes like a 

badass.

I made all the decisions based on how i felt about things and myself and i chose to do 

what i did every step of the way.

I have been judged and i will be judged, that does not mean i should care about what 

that couple, woman,man and child down my street says or thinks.

I am a woman

I ama human

I am beautiful

And I am a badass

Let's be honest, you can not judge me because my sins differ from yours.

Just A thought😀

Its funny how we ladies sit together and talk about that other girl because she slept with that guy, that other guy and that other other guy and soon after, we leave and go do exactly what she did.
I know this for a fact,I have seen it, I have experienced it, I have been on both ends of that situation.
I remember one specific day, me and my girlfriends were hanging out, waiting for one of our own to show up, she was running late as usual, females right!!
So we are there, sipping on our totally non alcoholic drinks and she rolls up with one of our friends, he waves from the car, and we all knew what just went down. See, he was one of those guys that got out of the car, said hello and hung out for a few, even if he was in a hurry, but that day was different.
So this friend of ours, let's call her Sandy, so Sandy comes out all smiles, sexed up hair, wearing her post coital glow with pride. We could tell she got it good and she knew it was going to be another afternoon of us pestering her for details, when, where, how even why. We were curious, very curious.
This was our thing, its how we bonded, and even though Sandy didn't really want to put it all out there, she knew amongst the four of is, so she spilt all the beans, everything, we always shared such stories, to us, this was okay, it is still okay.
Certain people have the nerve to call us out, just because we decided to just do what we want to do because its really just us and our bodies, apparently, this is wrong and has people calling is all sorts of names, ie,
Forgive my language,
"Slut, whore, Ho, Loose, basic, and my favourite, slut-whore"
I don't take offence to these words, i just cannot anymore, but thats just me.
See, we don't go around announcing to everyone that they can just come through and have their way, and we really don't need to wear a scarlet letter simply because we chose to have our cobwebs dusted and curb our horniness.
Its not wrong, its what we decided to do.
Let's be honest, everyone likes to get down and dirty, every now and then, as often as you can for some people, it doesn't give anyone the right to call you out and label you.
I read an article the other day, talking about the 90 day rule versus the girl who just wants to get laid...the 90 day rule doesn't make anyone a saint, neither does calling another girl out for getting laid.
I mean, so what if she sleeps with that guy, and that other guy, and that other other guy, the girl just wants to get laid.
Its normal, its natural and its just not your business if that girl did that with that guy.
Simply, not your damn business, so my suggestion is,
Girl, get over yourself and get laid.
Period.

"Not all girls are made of sugar, spice and everything nice, some are made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine." Imagine this scenario, a group of nicely tailored women, in their beautiful clothes, some of them probably designer, gorgeous heels, sipping on tea, or wine, talking about the latest gossip, who did what, when, where, why, how and with whom. Now imagine the same scenario, replace the nicely tailored clothes, the dresses and skirts with jeans and that old comfortable but still presentable t shirt thats starting to fade, LaidBack hair, slippers or crocks, some vodka cranberry or just vodka neat and a couple of beers and some good barbecue, talking about our relationship woes and maybe a few new movies with a little gossip. I have been in both those scenarios, and I enjoyed both, mostly cause I can morph into who i need to be in the moment. I can handle being both because honestly, i couldn't care less about the difference between being ladylike and not being ladylike. I see it as being the same thing. This friend of mine once told me that I need to be more of a lady, and less 'guyish'. I have never laughed like I did in that moment, I found it rather ridiculous that being a lady has become a class of its own, that we have decided to create this facade that is a lady. What exactly is a lady? la·dy ˈlādē/ noun 1. a woman (used as a polite or old-fashioned form of reference). "I spoke to the lady at the travel agency" synonyms:woman, female; More 2. a woman of superior social position, especially one of noble birth. "lords and ladies and royalty were once entertained at the house" synonyms:noblewoman, duchess, countess, peeress, viscountess, baroness; archaicgentlewoman "lords and ladies" It doesn't say a lady dresses a certain way, or stands or sits a certain way, or even drinks a certain kind of drink. A lady, is a woman. According to the definition of a lady, I am a lady, so, to all my friends, who have told me that I need to be more ladylike I say, I am a lady, I am a woman, I dress as comfortable as I can, I keep myself as dignified as I can, I behave as I need to and as I can, I eat what I like and drink what I like. That doesn't change my gender, it just means I am human, and I do things that I as a person see fit. If that makes me 'guyish', then I will stand tall and say it proudly, I am 'guyish'. That being said, its always wise to remember that, some of us are sugar spice and everything nice, and some of us are made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine. At the end of the day, we're all just ladies, women, females. We are all ladies.

Dear future husband,

I hope this letter finds you well and that in this moment, you are thinking about me too.
I have waited all my life to find you, and each time i think i have found you and find out its not you, my heart breaks a little.

If i were to count all the broken pieces over the years, i would never have the time to find you.
That being said, I have noticed where I seem to always go wrong.See, I have dreamt about you, since i was a little girl, what you look like, what your hair and eyes look like, your body, your feet, your clothes, everything, I have designed you in my head so you meet all the standards and all my needs, but I have to come to learn that sometimes, it is wise to acknowledge that this is really just my fantasy.

In my head, you have beautiful brown eyes, and well cut hair, a well built body that is to die for, very nicely
 tailored clothes and feets that smell like vanilla, even after a long long day in dirty boots.

In my head, you smile at me and sweep me off my feet, you take my breath away, and you never make me angry, my own Ken doll.
In my head, you agree with well, everything i say and you make me feel all so important like i could never do any wrong.

In my head, you are strong and fearless and Hot, like Thor.
In my head, I am your Aphrodite
We have that Romeo and Juliet kind of love, minus the tragic death and the bloody mess.

Then I wake up and take a breath, and start over.
See, we all want our perfect man, our knight in shining armour.

But is there such a thing as a perfect man?

Or do we just meet the man that meets all those things "in ourheads" in ways that we just never expected, I dont mean a compromise, i mean the beauty in the man and the relationship we find that is just so unexpected.

Lets be honest,
 Waiting for Mr Right or Mr Perfect to show up is simply another aspect of a fantasy we all live.

Your perfect man is probably the one you expect the least, or the next guy you meet, or the old friend you've known for way too long, or your crush, guy next door, who knows, and honestly, should we really care that much?

I will tell you this though, he is there, maybe you've met him, maybe you're about to, all in all, you will meet him.

The Ugly Black Woman

I am an ugly black woman too just wanting to be heard
Who doesnt want to be heard?
One way or the other, whether we say it or not, we want to be heard.
Being a woman, makes that even harder
When I say Ugly Black Woman, i do not mean it literally, what I am simply trying to say is,
I am a woman, and for many reasons have been victimized and playedvictim, but who hasnt, we all do it.
 For many reasons, have been criticized and picked apart and rebuilt over and over again, I have been underestimated and scrutinized, I have faced gender inequality and I have faced abuse
, I have carried the weight of all that comes with being female, by that i mean, the physicality of being the female gender, the changes that come with growing up and becoming a woman, theresponsibilities,
 I have faced the struggle of trying to break into an industry that alot of people said i couldnt do
I have faced the competition between man and woman for superiority, and most of all
I have faced being a female with female friends, every female knows what thats like
In all that, all i ever sought was to be heard and to be seen, as a person, as a woman with a voice, with an opinion, a woman.
Its not only about gender equality,its universal, cause my hey,  women give each other a hard time too!
An ugly black woman only seeks to be heard and to be seen as something and someone other than the labels she has to bear given to her by society, she just wants to be heard.
We all do

Yours sincerely,
An Ugly Black Woman.

Inspired by Being Mary Jane

Being single used to mean nobody wanted you, now it means you're pretty, sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you to spend it with

-Sex and the City

I believe there are three types of women

1. Those who don't want to be alone
Being single and alone translates to being sad and unwanted to thiswoman. The thought of having a man in their life fulfills them. Sadly, they are the ones who usually get heart broken

2. The woman who thinks she doesnt need a man
She is the one who believes men should not be given that power over a woman, and believes she can be her own man.

3. The woman who wants a little bit of both and a little bit of herself. She wants the man and theLife she has created for herself but she doesnt want those two things take over her life.

Our history dictated that a woman needed a man, over time, amended history dictated that a woman be independent, and in our present time, we are trying to figure out a way to make those two work without sounding too feminist it becomes obnoxious or sound too independent making us seem too ignorant for our own good.

Life she has created for herself but she doesnt want those two things take over her life.
Our history dictated that a woman needed a man, over time, amended history dictated that a woman be independent, and in our present time, we are trying to figure out a way to make those two work without sounding too feminist it becomes obnoxious or sound too independent making us seem too ignorant for our own good.

So what is acceptable?

Being your own man?
Being dependent?
Wanted the best of both worlds?
I honestly don't know...
Let's be honest, our society will always change the rules depending on what's trending
For example, if more actresses are playing lead roles in award winning productions, we are all about being your own woman, if a lot of romance is in the air, we allwant a man, and when all is well, a little bit of both sounds great.
So ladies, it's not wrong to want to be your own man, history has made it clear that women weren't expected to succeed, but we did,
Its also not wrong to want to depend on your man, if he makes you feel like a queen and gives you what you need,its hard to not want to just be taken care of by him and just enjoy what you have, and it definitely is not wrong towant it both ways.
If you can have the best of both worlds, then have it
Just remember to live, love and laugh with whatever you choose to do.
It is your world after all.

So,
3 Years ago, someone called me fat, I did not think much of it, so I let it go.
A few weeks after that, someone else called me fat, and I thought, "Its just a comment"
A little while after that, someone else said I was fat.

So I looked in the mirror, I didnt see fat, I just saw me
After a while, I was hanging out with my friends, and I felt curious so I looked around  the table, just to see if they were right, I still didnt see it, so I let it go

A little while later, someone else told me I stood out among my friends cause I looked so heavy, so I asked a friend, and they didnt see it either.
This one morning, as I got dressed, i took a second to look at my jeans and compare them to my sisters , just cause.

There was such a difference between the two, But I still let it go because it didn't matter.
See, I wasn't a size 0, not even a size 6, I was my own size, my own body, but theres only so much self confidence can do.
Made me wonder, what exactly is the acceptance weight, not the medical healthy BMI acceptable, societal acceptance?

A little while later, more and more people told me I was big and I needed to lose weight to fit in, some said I needed the weight loss to look and I quote "Hot".

I wanted to let it go, but the more I heard it, the more it worried me.
I kept asking myself If I was really what they said.
My self confidence dropped digits
My self esteem plummeted alongside it and I withdrew myself.
I kept to myself, I hid, I wore oversized clothes so I could feel smaller than my actual size.
Then I read this article, talking about what it's like to be big, thick, curvy, vivacious, whatever word you want to say just to make yourself better.

Let's be honest, there is no such thing is the perfect weight, or body size.
As long as the doctor tells you Your ass ain't at risk for anything that is.

We've made it clear that too big is not good enough, too small is sad, somewhere in the middle is still not good enough.

I guess I should say something like, it's okay to be big or small, which is true, but, we made our bed and we have to lay in it.

We've created a world where weight and body size defines sexiness

Simplest way to deal with it is to just to accept it

If you want to be hot, be hot,

An Introduction

                                             Its a woman's world.
                    A woman
Definition;
An adult human female
Synonyms: lady, girlfriend, lover, mother

                      A success
Definition;
The accomplishment of an aim or purpose

Success comes in all forms and shapes, when it comes to being a successful woman, it embodies awhole lot more than you would dream about, in fact it embodies an entirely different world.
I sit down with my girlfriends and talk about everything we want to accomplish and be successful at.

Success at being a mom
Every woman wants her children to adore her and know that they can depend on their mother,

Career woman
Letsts be honest, this is the 21st century, not every Woman wants to be at home, some want a career, some  want to succeed and feel good about it,

Sexy
 Its one of the things you just cannot say out loud, but we want to feel beautiful, hot, sexy, we want someone to look at us and say "WOW", or to look in the mirror and actually fall in love AND lust with yourself, to walk outside,to 'sashay' and ooze sexiness.
A man
Not just any man, the man YOU want, not the one your mum and sisters want, not the one society wants for you and definitely not the one you should have so people respect you, I mean the one you want, who makes you better and makes you blush and pushes you forward. That man!

On top of having The man, you also want the awesome sex life, the kind that makes both you and your man blush...
It may be a topic most would rather keep indoors and among their singular friendships but we know it, want it, feel it. Its no secret all women want such excitement and that secret smile that you have on your face the morning after...

Some dream of marriage, some pf children, some don't dream of either of these two, they just want a career, but all in all, we all want to be successful at something.

Speaking for myself, I want it all, the career, the adoration, the sexy, the hush-hush sex life, the man.
To know that I succeeded in at least some of those things, or all of them.
Success at everything a woman can be.